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Satire: Ted Cruz Trolls the Left, Suggests Giving a Hunter Biden Painting to Each Illegal

Many of you have, by now, heard of Slow Joe’s plan to hand $450,000 dollars to each illegal immigrant separated at the border and $1 million to each family. For those that have been living under a big rock or have gone Galt up till now, here are the details of the plan, which I wrote about here.

The Wall Street Journal recently published a report claiming that:

The Biden administration is in talks to offer immigrant families that were separated during the Trump administration around $450,000 a person in compensation, according to people familiar with the matter, as several agencies work to resolve lawsuits filed on behalf of parents and children who say the government subjected them to lasting psychological trauma.

The U.S. Departments of Justice, Homeland Security, and Health and Human Services are considering payments that could amount to close to $1 million a family, though the final numbers could shift, the people familiar with the matter said. Most of the families that crossed the border illegally from Mexico to seek asylum in the U.S. included one parent and one child, the people said. Many families would likely get smaller payouts, depending on their circumstances, the people said.

So, Slow Joe’s gonna shell out billions in your tax dollars to recognized invaders. DeSantis called that a “slap in the face.” Ted Cruz one-upped him and suggested a hilarious alternative:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s awesome. Cruz, in a few short characters, manages to show the ridiculousness of the entire situation, point out the Biden Crime Family’s corruption, and remind everyone that Biden wants to hand cash to illegals.

Plus, it is, as he notes, a win-win! Hunter’s art will get out there, the treasury won’t be drained, and the illegals will get something of even more worth than the check they were gonna get! What a brilliant plan!

Better yet, it triggered the libs. Just check out some of these replies if you want a full glass of leftist tears to sip on:

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As you can tell, the soyboys and mask wearers were very triggered.

Plus, the plan would have the added benefit to Hunter of introducing him to all those awesome illegals, rather than the grimy Chinese and Ukrainian businessmen that otherwise would have bought his paintings, as this tweet points out:

One conservative, however, pointed out a likely flaw in the plan: without his parmesan to smoke, Hunter might not have enough energy to make all the paintings:

So, while the plan does sound wonderful, we might simply not have enough of Hunter’s brilliant artwork to pay all of the illegals their due. Darn, it really was a good plan.

By: Gen Z Conservative. Follow me on Parler and Gettr.