Humor: Who Has to Tell Brandon that He’s Brandon?

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Now must be one of the worst times ever to work in the White House. The Trump years might have been chaotic, the Clinton years might have been uncomfortable if he got interested in you, and the Nixon years would have been a bit hectic at the end. But at least people believed in those presidents. Trump is still loved by half the country and his White House, chaotic as it may have been, accomplished much. Clinton, while he had trouble keeping his pants zipped, wasn’t really that bad, at least comparatively. Nixon won in a landslide and the Watergate furor was just the Deep State’s way of getting rid of him.

In short, while past presidents have had their strong aspects and weak points, most have had redeeming features that made working for them not that bad. But what about President Brandon? Can you even imagine working for that guy?

Imagine this: you’re a lowly intern, just hoping to get a good line for your resume out of a semester’s work for some faction or another in the White House. While sitting at your desk one day, scrolling through TikTok or trying to cancel someone on Twitter (you are a leftist, after all), your boss walks by and plops down an assignment on your desk: the President heard people chanting “let’s go Brandon” as his convoy rumbled by and he wants to know who this Brandon guy is and why so many people are suddenly cheering for him. Oh, and you have to explain it before his 4 pm bedtime.

What would you even do? How would you respond? While it’s fun to joke, imagine that some pitiable person probably had to do this. Someone had to explain that “Fuck Joe Biden” was a popular chant at events like football games and NASCAR races, that some idiotic reporter tried to pass off “fuck Joe Biden” as “let’s go Brandon” because she was interviewing a guy named Brandon, and that “let’s go Brandon” caught on because it so perfectly encapsulates how everyone feels about the media’s duplicity and the president. Can you imagine that?

The schadenfreude is immense but, as a former Senate intern, I pity whoever had to write up that report and/or explain it to President Brandon. Hopefully, he was in a cheery mood because his oatmeal was nice and warm. Otherwise, it probably wasn’t that pleasant of a conversation.

And think about it in other contexts too. The rumor out of Rome is that Biden had a “bathroom accident” while meeting with the Pope. Who knows how true that rumor is, but its existence means that someone working for the president has to explain that a large chunk of the world thinks that he pooped his pants while meeting with the Pope and that he might be asked about it. Can you imagine?

Same for his mental state. This one is more obvious, but someone has to tell him that pretty much everyone thinks he’s senile. That’s probably not a pleasant conversation and, if he has dementia, maybe it’s had to happen more than once…

Those are the wages of putting a senile idiot in the White House. The past presidents had their strengths and weaknesses, but all were chosen because a little over half the country thought they were capable. Not Biden. He was “chosen” because he wasn’t the bad orange man. No one asked about his competence; it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he wasn’t Trump.

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And what’d we get? President Brandon. FJB!

By: Gen Z Conservative. Follow me on Parler and Gettr.

 


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