NOTE: This story about Chris Pratt’s fake apology is an old one, coming from 2015. However, when I saw it on Louder with Crowder the other day, it made me laugh so hard that I knew I had to write about it. Enjoy the laughs, even if the story isn’t particularly new!
Chris Pratt must have gotten beyond sick and tired of dealing with the woke, Social Justice Warrior-dominated outrage mob in 2015, as he absolutely shredded that collection of constantly offended wokies with a fake, preemptive apology for the press tour for the Jurassic World movie, saying:
“I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act for which I am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have had) said that (will have had) crossed the line.”
Continued, Pratt then said “Those rooms can get stuffy and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know you can’t say that anymore.”
Still Pratt hade more jokes to crack and SJWs to offend with his obvious insouciance about their feelings, saying:
“In fact in my opinion it was never right to say the thing I definitely don’t want to but probably will have said. To those I (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry I already am. I am fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a blunder (possibly to be) dubbed “JurassicGate” is (most likely) in no way a laughing matter. To those I (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn’t happen (again).”
Hilarious! That’s how one should respond to the outrage mob: by making fun of it, not by bending the knee to it.
Nor was that the last time that Pratt stood up to the outrage mob and stood by his beliefs. He did so again when giving a much-applauded MTV speech in 2018 in which he defended Christianity and encouraged the audience to have faith, saying:
“I’m going to cut to the chase and I am going to speak to you, the next generation. I accept the responsibility as your elder. So, listen up.
No. 1: Breathe. If you don’t, you will suffocate.
No. 2: You have a soul. Be careful with it.
No. 3: Don’t be a turd. If you’re strong, be a protector, and if you’re smart, be a humble influencer. Strength and intelligence can be weapons. Do not wield them against the weak. That makes you a bully. Be bigger than that.
No. 4: When giving a dog medicine, put the medicine in a little hamburger and they won’t even know they’re eating medicine.
No. 5: Doesn’t matter what it is — earn it. A good deed, reach out to someone in pain, be of service. It feels good, and it’s good for your soul.
No. 6: God is real, God loves you, God wants the best for you. Believe that. I do.
No. 7: If you have to poop at a party, but you’re embarrassed, because you’re going to stink up the bathroom, just do what I do: lock the door, sit down, get all the pee out first. And then when all the pee’s done, poop, flush, boom. You minimize the amount of time the poop is touching the air, ’cause if you poop first, it takes you longer to pee and then you’re peeing on top of it, stirring up the poop particles that create a cloud and it goes out and everyone in the party will know that you pooped. Just trust me, it’s science.
No. 8: Learn to pray. It’s easy, and it’s so good for your soul.
No. 9: Nobody is perfect. People are gonna tell you you’re perfect just the way you are — you’re not. You are imperfect. You always will be. But, there is a powerful force that designed you that way. If you’re willing to accept that, you will have grace. And grace is a gift. And, like the freedom that we enjoy in this country, that grace was paid for with somebody else’s blood. Do not forget it. Don’t take it for granted.
Similarly, Pratt responded to recent outrage over his Christian faith and the church he attends in an unrepentant manner, saying:
“My values define who I am. We need less hate in this world, not more. I am a man who believes that everyone is entitled to love who they want free from the judgment of their fellow man.
“Jesus said, ‘I give you a new command, love one another. This is what guides me in my life. He is a God of Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness. Hate has no place in my or this world.”
Pratt is awesome. Hopefully he maintains his anti-woke attitude as his fame continues to grow!