Note #1: This is satire, those who might want to censor it. The tweets are to be taken as jokes, not legitimate representations of the “health equity” plan. More info on it from the horse’s mouth can be found here. Supposedly, the kits being handed out no longer include the crack pipes.
Recently, reports came out that Biden wanted to include free crack pipes in kits handed out as part of his “health equity” plan. So that’s where your tax dollars are going, in case you were wondering. Or, at least they were. The government is now saying that it’s not actually including pipes in the kits, so there’s that. Still, it’s funny that it was even being considered, in an infuriating sort of way, so we’re going to joke about it.
While Biden might not be bright enough to see why that’s a bad idea, even despite his personal experience with Hunter’s crack addiction, conservative Twitter is, and some of the jokes about the program are utterly hilarious. Here are the ten best jokes about it that I saw (and to all the censors out there, yest the crack pipe kits include other goods and the bill does other things too, but that’s not funny so it’s not talked about. This is humor/sarcasm, including the Ivermectin tweets):
1, The Real Problem:
tax payer funded crack pipes? but no tax payer funded crack? What a country!
— Evan (@EvanPlatinum) February 9, 2022
2. A New Twist on an Old Classic
I will not eat the bugs I will not smoke the crack pipe
Smoke the bug pipe? pic.twitter.com/sY2Jdy9Wet
— Jimmy (@Jimmy40537618) February 9, 2022
3. A New Business Strategy for Twitter Entrepreneurs
TFW you and your colleague discuss next quarter's business strategy pic.twitter.com/CsCsFdcGxR
— Maarek (@Maarblek) February 9, 2022
4. Old Quotes, New Quotes, and Brandon’s Rotting Brain (or Teeth)
“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy
“Free crack pipes for my peeps.” – Joe Biden.
"Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." – John F. Kennedy
"Free crack pipes for my peeps." – Joe Biden.
— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) February 9, 2022
5. A Meme Reply Too Good to Not Include
BREAKING: Biden to host the first-ever “Crack Pipe Olympics.” pic.twitter.com/KlHoGSF4Al
— Der Schniefmeister (@zniffo) February 9, 2022
6. Just Smoke the Crack, Your Government Knows Best!
— THAT SOUTHERN DUDE (@TSDmemes) February 9, 2022
7. Yes it is, Michael, Yes It Is. And the Reply to Your Post Shows Why:
I’m kind of fond of this one since the president tweeted about energy today. pic.twitter.com/DJTss2CqGM
— Antiquated Moonman (@damoon9999) February 9, 2022
8. Sounds Like an Excellent Plan, I Accept:
— 𝓑𝓾𝓫𝓫𝓵𝓮 ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ (@BubbleCovfefe) February 9, 2022
9. Be Careful What You Wish For
— Sushi🍣Yum 🇨🇦🚛🇺🇸 (@D48222919) February 9, 2022
10. Get Fact-Checked, They Have Rubber Bands Too
"Mostly False…It’s important to note that safe smoking kits typically consist of several other items, including: a rubber mouthpieces for glass pipes, in order to prevent burns and cuts; brass screens, in order to filter out potentially harmful contaminants or debris…" — Snopes pic.twitter.com/Yv2NTDttIC
— Preston Park is watching the 1984 Olympics (@pjparkjd) February 9, 2022