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Central Wokeness Agency: The CIA Goes Woke

Remember the CIA of old? The agency that flew U-2 spy planes over the USSR, carried out the Phoenix Program in Vietnam, and battled in the shadows against the communist menace? Well, it’s gone. Now, the CIA should be called the CWA- the Central Wokeness Agency. Instead of focusing on the War on Terror, fighting the Red Chinese, or stopping Russian interference in American affairs, it’s focusing on wokeness in the workplace.

Think I’m exageratting? Just watch the recent woke propaganda advertising videos it put out:

Wow, one of them is a cis-female! Even more impressively, she is occasionally anxious! I wonder how she ever managed to succeed in life despite being a completely average person. And another is gay! Wow, the CIA must be so diverse! And if you click and watch this video (it won’t embed, unfortunately), you’ll find out that the CIA is an ally of blacks! That must be why, under Jimmy Carter the peanut farmer, it destabilized Rhodesia and helped create Marxist Zimbabwe…

I’m sure Putin is quaking in his boots after watching those three videos? Forget fighting 007, now the FSB and Chinese Intelligence will be hunting down 00diverse. Hopefully (his/her/its) blue hair won’t make (him/her/it) stand out in nations that haven’t fully devolved into postmodern degeneracy!

On a serious note, those videos show exactly what is wrong with America right now. The far left has taken over every institution to such an extent that, at this point, the intelligence agency responsible for hunting down terrorists, exposing terrorist plots, counterespionage, espionage, and a plethora of other, highly important missions is more focused on creating idiotic advertisements to boast about how “diverse” it is. Instead of focusing on hiring the best people, it seems intent on finding the weirdos and race-baiters that focus far more on their own eccentricities or perversions than on national security.


That’s a terrible idea for two reasons.

The first, and most obvious, is that it will lead to another 9/11. Whether its a Hispanic woman with anxiety or a gay ginger, the identity of the person sitting in the CIA doesn’t matter a lick. It doesn’t matter if they’re gay or straight, white or black, male or female.

What matters is that they’re the best people for a job. They need to speak Arabic, Chinese, or Russian. They must have analytical minds that allow them to cut through the chaff and find the hidden kernels of important information. If in the Special Activities Division, they must be ruthless and able to act independently. If an analyst, they must work whatever hours are required to put together the pieces before Mr. Muhammed III blows himself up in Times Square or Mr. Zhang steals classified information from Skunk Works. That’s what we need from the CIA, not absurd videos about gender ideology nonsense.

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Focusing on identity politics instead will distract the agency and its employees. They’ll spend more time figuring out each others’ pronouns than spying on ISIS and, as a result, America will burn. Thanks, Joe Biden!

The other issue is that our enemies won’t take us seriously. How could they? China is embarking on a program to make its nation more masculine, Putin is undeniably a masculine warrior, and the Islamic terrorists are, for all their faults, laser-focused on their goals and willing to undergo any privation if it means a heightened chance of success. Meanwhile, our military is designing flight suits for pregnant women and the Central Wokeness Agency is extolling the virtues of having gay men in the workplace. Our masculine, focused opponents can’t help but not take us seriously at this point. As Bill Maher said, we’re a silly people.

And that will lead to war. Hitler didn’t take Chamberlain seriously and the result was war. The communists didn’t take Truman seriously and the result was the Korean War. If our enemies don’t take our intelligence agencies and military seriously, the result will be war. The Central Wokeness Agency needs to eschew gender ideology and go back to defending America from foreign enemies.

By: Gen Z Conservative. Follow me on Parler, Gab, and Facebook

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