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Satire: Biden’s Greatest Quote

Satire. Not meant to be fact-checked/taken seriously, so back off Politifact and Co.

In an absolute Chad move, President Brandon decided to mike drop on reporters by saying “end quote” at the end of, well, a quote. Watch him here:

Reactionaries and other members of that “vast, right-wing conspiracy end quote” that Hillary “At this point, what does it even matter” Clinton warned us about back when Jeffrey Epstein’s friend was still president will claim that Biden’s “end quote” comment shows his senility and mental decline.

Nothing could be further from the truth! We and the other 36% of the populace that still support Brandon and his many, many working brain cells know that he said that intentionally! His snappy “end quote” line wasn’t indicative of his last remaining brain synapse wearing out, as trolls on Twitter claim, but rather a brilliant line that showed reporters exactly when he wanted to end his quote.

You see, had he not said “end quote,” those Trotskyites and other reactionaries in the media would have been able to frame his speech as plagiarism! Brandon knew the CNN, MSNBC, and other reactionary reporters wouldn’t hesitate for a moment to frame him as a plagiarist (accusations that have been lurking since his early days as a politician, when he gave a brilliant speech that was framed by liars as a virtual copy and paste of one given by a British politician).

So, in a brilliant, 4D chess-like move, Biden decided to make his already crystal-clear speaking style even clearer by saying “end quote.” What a brilliant move.

Thankfully, a few totally honest reporters realize Biden’s genius. As Yahoo!News reported (I wonder if they sued Jeb! for his use of a random exclamation point):

But Biden in fact was ending a quote he had started. Fox News and several other outlets mistakenly reported that he was reading a teleprompter cue.

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His full comment was:

“And, by the way, you may have heard the CEO of Walmart yesterday on the steps we’ve taken. He said, and I quote, ‘The combination of private enterprise and government working together has been really successful.’ He went on to say, ‘All the way through the supply chain, there’s… a lot of innovation.’ Because of the actions we’ve taken, things have begun to change. End of quote.

See, it’s not that Brandon was running out of steam because he hadn’t had oatmeal or ice cream in a while and accidentally read off a teleprompter. It was that he was making it evident that he ended the quote! What a genius move from a brilliant man and masterful public speaker! It’s almost Churchillian, some might say.

In fact, I think we’re simply unworthy of Brandon’s brilliance. Even his quickly rising protege, Kamala Harris, probably couldn’t have come up with such a brilliant line that sends the reactionaries and Trotskyites into a frenzy while simultaneously deflecting accusations of plagiarism. I might go blind for staring into the bright light of public speaking brilliance for so long!

By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of Follow me on Parler and Gettr.